Just really so grateful

Today in the grocery store, I had one of those sudden strikes of grief. My mom passed away over 2 years ago from stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread to her liver and probably other places. While I was not her full time caretaker by any means, I still took a lot of care of her when my siblings were at school, dad at work, and hospice wasn't there. I'm thankful for those little moments I had to care for my mother. She often told me how sad it made her that I was taking care of her, saying "I'm the mama, I'm supposed to take care of you." Anyway, there was one incident that happened the night before she passed, where I was taking her to the bathroom and something really distressing and bad happened. It was enough of a traumatic experience that I still attend counseling to keep the PTSD from it under control.
In the past 2 or so months, I've been pretty stable as far as my grief emotions go. I've had a couple times where I just stop and realize how much I wish I could call my mama on the phone and talk to her about how excited I am to have my son. Or even just to call and say "hi" and "I love you". The feelings I have in times like those can be best described as an ache.
Today I was walking through the grocery store, and out of the corner of my eye in the freezer section I saw a yellow package. I turned my head around and saw that the yellow package was a package of turkey meatballs that my mom used when she made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Which was always one of my favorite dinners. I couldn't help it, and I don't know what came over me. At first, my mouth twitched into a little half smile, then I lost it and became a ball of emotion.
It's amazing how something as simple as a bag of meatballs can trigger such a response.
After I got home, I sat down and started thinking about how I don't have my mom or my mother in law in my life. It started to get me down, so I prayed out loud saying "I wish I had a mom." I felt immediately guilty. I realized I do have so many wonderful women in my life who have been mother figures for me. And I am so incredibly blessed now to have a stepmom who is willing to and does help me with so many things. She's even throwing me a baby shower. She's a wonderful woman who does so much for my dad and my family and has brought a ton of happiness into our lives. I am really so grateful for her in my life.

Bell Pepper Soup!

  I am currently in the middle of my homework and classwork online, but I thought I would take a little break to talk about the awesome soup I made last night. I was surprised how well it turned out. First of all, I found the recipe in one of those 30 second cooking videos you see pop up on your facebook newsfeed. I altered it a little to fit our tastes. Here's my version of the recipe:

Ingredients:
1 lb lean ground beef
1/2 white onion, finely diced
2 bell peppers (any color) finely diced
1. TBSP garlic powder (NOT garlic salt)
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp salt
32 oz beef broth (my husband made beef bone broth from beef soup bones and it was absolutely perfect for this soup. I highly recommend home made broth. It's really easy to make, especially if you have a crock pot.)
6 oz tomato paste
30 oz diced tomatoes (I did one can of regular diced tomatoes, and one can of diced tomatoes in italian seasonings. By accident, but turned out SO GOOD)

Start by adding about a capful of olive oil to the bottom of a small/ medium size stock pot. Turn the stove on and add the ground beef. Use a spoon or spatula to break up the beef and brown it fairly well. Don't worry if it seems liquidy, it will add to the nutrients and taste of the soup. Then when the meat is browned, add your diced onion and bell peppers. Also add the dry spices with them.  Let the meat, spices and vegetables simmer together on high heat for about 3-4 minutes. Then add beef broth. *Note: if you are using home made, chances are you have a good layer of fat if you put it in the fridge to store. Or maybe in the freezer to store. Either way put all your broth in now and if it's home made, let the fat melt completely then add the tomatoes. If frozen, let it melt halfway into the soup, then add the tomatoes.
If using regular boxed or canned broth, add the tomato products in right now and let the mixture simmer on high for about 5-7 minutes. Then put the stove somewhere in between low and medium heat and let the soup simmer for 10-12 minutes.
There you go, yummy warm soup :)

If you would like the recipe for the bone broth my husband made, I will ask him for it and post again soon. It is very easy and we got 4 quart size mason jars full and 4 sandwich bags full of delicious and healthy broth. My husband made it for me to strengthen my body in the last couple months of my pregnancy. It's supposed to strengthen the blood and uterus. I definitely love the taste and it helps me stay away from morning sickness and exhaustion. It's so tasty and much cheaper than buying salty, preservative-filled broth from the grocery store. It was about a week process to get that much out of the soup bones. But it was made in one of our crock pots and required little maintenance throughout the week. My husband kept emptying the crock pot and adding more water until the bones basically disintegrated.

31 weeks

This week little bear reached about the size of a coconut and about 3 1/3 pounds.
Some things that happened this week:
-Met with the waterbirth midwife. It is required of me to get an antibiotic IV drip during labour, but I can still waterbirth! I can labor in the tub and birth in the bed if I want to, or do both in the tub. I just have to keep the saline lock in my arm or hand throughout the whole time and they'll hook up antibiotics every four hours for about 20-30 minutes.
-I have a cold (I'm writing this one on Thursday, Nov. 12.) It started yesterday with sore throat, headache, sniffles and sneezes with the occasional cough. It's not fun, but it's not horrible either. I'm thankful for the "pregnancy tea" my midwife gave to me a while ago. It soothes my throat and everything else.
-I discovered that the only thing that defeats my morning sickness is beef stew for breakfast. That's right. It has so much protein and stuff that it completely kicks my nausea for the WHOLE day!
-I got a 93% on my nutrition test on Wednesday!
-Corry and I went to Seattle for the weekend for his Qi Gong retreat. We spent the night in a decent hotel and spent some nice quality time together. I caught a cold and it was pretty nasty this weekend, but we still had fun.

How far along? 32 weeks tomorrow (Tuesday)
Total weight gain/loss: I lost a total of about 30 pounds when I was vomiting all the time and in and out of the hospital. If I had lost much more, I would have gotten close to losing the baby. But now I am only 5 pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight.
Maternity clothes? Most comfortable things ever right now. Besides jammies :)
Stretch marks? Not on the belly. Only a few on my hips and they actually seem to be fading.
Sleep: Not so bad lately.
Best moment this week: 
Have you told family and friends: Yes, a long time ago. It's a little difficult to hide now ;)
Movement: Pretty much constant.
Food cravings: right now I'm craving pepperoni pizza, ice cubes, and chocolate milk.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Yesterday I threw up after eating too much oatmeal too fast in the morning. Oatmeal doesn't make me sick, but I learned that eating too much too fast will make me sick.
Have you started to show yet: Like I said, it's a bit hard to hide now :)
Leakage: well, yeah. Just one of those things that sometimes happens.
Gender prediction: We already know, and we are so excited to meet our baby boy.
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks. Other than that not really.
Belly Button in or out? Still in. But pretty close to popping out I think. I think it will pop out sometime next month.
Wedding rings on or off? On. No swelling in my fingers or feet.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Not really sure. I think my moods are rather tame and manageable. Once in a great while there's a little hormone swing that makes me moody.
Weekly Wisdom: Lots of protein in the morning with breakfast will keep some morning sickness nausea away. Also, don't bother buying an expensive maternity pillow. Just buy a regular body pillow. Helps me so much with sleeping comfortably.
Milestones: Meeting with the midwife and discussing/ planning the birth.

This week was pretty good and I am currently sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle while Corry is at his Qi Gong retreat. I had an interesting experience this morning. I dropped Corry off at the place where the retreat is being held and I went back to the hotel. I went to my room, 244 and tried to unlock it with the hotel key. It didn't open, so I figured maybe I forgot what our actual room number was, so I went down to the front desk. I asked for a clarification/ new room key. The lady at the front said "Well, we don't have any rooms under Corry Meyers", are you in 242? We have that as Corry Jones. Thinking I had mixed up the room numbers and they had just gotten the wrong last name somehow, I said yes and she gave me a room key. (Note: Last night, we had to switch rooms because of how incredibly bad our room smelled and how dirty it was. So I thought maybe they had forgotten our last name and put down the first one they could think of.) So I go up to 242 and I slide the key into the door. As I slowly opened the door, I saw that it was really not actually our room. It smelled horribly like tobacco smoke, and there were bras and shoes all over the floor. I felt a little twinge of panic, shut the door quietly and power-waddled down the hall to the elevator just in case there was someone in there. I went down and said "Yeah that definitely wasn't my room..." and the lady sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. I spelled out my husband's first name and she goes "oh, that's why. It's C-o-r-r-y Meyers." Then handed me our actual room key. It was kind of funny and I definitely got a good workout power waddling down that long hallway :)
I can't believe we are almost to 32 weeks. That means almost 8 more weeks until the due date. 8 more weeks until we get to meet our little bear. I love him so much and I seriously can't wait. 

Some funnies

  Just found some funnies on facebook yesterday when I was on. I saw these ones in particular and couldn't stop laughing.

This one is so true for me, because little bear LOVES to kick and move and go nuts. Especially when he hears daddy's voice after several hours of daddy being at school. I love the kicks, but I am still not even fully used to a real human kicking inside of me. :)

This one is hilarious to me. I've never before now had to run to the bathroom. Sometimes I'll just be hanging out and all of a sudden little bear kicks and it's like "BATHROOM. NOW" Also, a little pregnancy advice: do Kegel exercises before you get super roly poly pregnant. It will save you lots of... leaks...

This is another one I find hilarious, because it is SO TRUE for me right now. It is surprisingly difficult to get socks and shoes on. It takes some contortion of my legs to get my arms to reach them. It does feel like a workout!

Just thought I'd share some pregnancy funnies with you :) The week is going well so far. I'll write more about it in my 31 weeks post. I am currently 31 weeks and 3 days. Can't believe I'll be 32 weeks next week. It's coming QUICK!

30 weeks

This week little bear was about 15.7 inches long and is now about 3 pounds.
Highlights from this week:
- we went swimming a lot. Mama's body is getting increasingly sore and tired from carrying little bear. My hips and lower back were particularly suffering. As soon as I step into the pool and just kind of walk slowly in the water before I swim laps, I can feel the aches and pains melt away. Little bear loves when I'm swimming! He kicks a lot when I'm doing laps.
- No belly stretch marks still.
- We are now 64 days away from the January 12th due date.
- We got a ton of baby stuff from some friends whose boys have outgrown it.
- Daddy (Corry) got an interview with an acupuncturist in Idaho!!! This is very exciting because we are moving there in the Fall of 2016 after he graduates. He will be finding a job while we work to set up his practice and while I go to school at the actual BYU Idaho campus.
- I stopped taking Zofran and phenergan! I am finally not wholly reliant on them anymore. I still take Zofran once in a while when the morning sickness gets bad though.
- I swam every day this week except Saturday and Sunday. It helps so much with body aches and braxton hicks.
- It was my sister's 18th birthday this week! We got to celebrate with her at a wonderful pizza place.

Lots of awesome stuff happened this week. I can't believe that tomorrow (Tuesday) we are going into week 31! 9 more weeks until the January 12th due date!

Two due dates?

I was thinking a lot about my due date today because it is getting SO CLOSE. I remembered that my actual due date of January 12th is kind of bogus. It may be TMI, but here's why I believe that due date is bogus:
Back in April we decided that we wanted to start trying for kids again. We tried initially in December and January but we were unsuccessful and it was a little disappointing. But we stopped trying for a while because it was a little discouraging. In April we decided to try again. Basically without any extra detail, the situation was such that we know the exact day I became pregnant, the exact day we conceived successfully.
So we got a midwife after we moved in April and we told her the situation was such that we know the exact day of conception. She agreed and based on that she gave me a due date of January 3rd. We know without a doubt that the day of conception was right, therefore January 3rd to me seems more correct. Then I got really sick and ended up being required to get an OB as well as my midwife. Then around week 13 or 14 I think they did a comprehensive ultrasound and they said that based on the size of the baby the due date was January 12th and they totally ignored me when I told them I knew the exact day of conception.
The thing is that due dates are just guesses anyway. But it will be interesting to see how things play out. I firmly believe that the January 3rd due date is more accurate. I think he will be born sometime between December 26th and January 3rd. Just according to my mama gut. No, I don't mean my actual gigantic belly :) I really have a strong feeling that he will be born around then.

I'm grateful for...

I am so grateful for all the blessings I've been able to have in my life since I got pregnant. I'm grateful to live in a country that helps mothers and soon to be moms. I can't even imagine living back where I lived when I was on my religious mission - especially as a soon to be mother. 

Anyway, I am also grateful for my husband. He's so intelligent and because of him I don't need a doula. Some women hire a doula as well as the support of their husband. I don't have to do that because my husband is so calm and level headed and knows how to help me through pains of pregnancy and will know how to best help me through the pain of natural labor.

I'm grateful for my church and the people in my ward/area who help me through tough times and who are a support to me and my sweet husband.

I just have a ton to be thankful for and I felt like writing some of it in a little blurb. :)

Feeling 22!

  Yesterday was my 22nd birthday, and it was so wonderful! It was relaxing and happy. I started off struggling with some morning sickness, but then it went away. I went for a long drive through the country and listened to my favorite country music loud with the windows down and sunglasses on when the sun was out. Jeeze, I sound like my dad! Then I went to Five Guys and just got an order of fries, went home and watched Disney shorts and Demetri Martin's standup while I ate. Then I went and picked my husband up from school and he took me to dinner. We went to one of my favorite restaurants: Mongolian Grill and had some really amazing food. Afterwards, he and I walked across the street to Walmart and bought some coconut milk ice cream, which I asked for instead of a cake. I'm really not a huge fan of cake. We came home and I opened his gift and we had ice cream. It was a wonderful, low key birthday.
Another wonderful gift is knowing that we are only 10 weeks away from having our son in our lives. So excited.

29 weeks

This week little bear was about the size of a butternut squash, 2.5 pounds and about 15 inches long.
This week was a busy and very fun week. It was my 22nd birthday and we went out a couple times together. Really strong kicks from baby boy, as usual. I had my last visit with my OB this past week. I am switching to a midwife in the same network who will do a hospital waterbirth for me. I am so grateful that this is covered by insurance. I have another midwife, but she can't do my birth in the hospital because she's not properly licensed for that. I go to that midwifes office for her advice for natural remedies.
Not much exciting in the way of baby news. I'm a few pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight again, and my belly is growing quite a lot.
Two days from today will be Tuesday, which will also be 30 weeks. That means only 10 weeks until the due date... AH!!! 2 1/2 months. I am 7 months pregnant. Crazyyyyyy
I am already so tired of being pregnant. Tired of having such a roly poly body. I can't wait to have our sweet son in my arms and in our lives. Can't wait to be without most of the weight being on my belly. I am so thrilled to see my son and meet him.