Just really so grateful

Today in the grocery store, I had one of those sudden strikes of grief. My mom passed away over 2 years ago from stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread to her liver and probably other places. While I was not her full time caretaker by any means, I still took a lot of care of her when my siblings were at school, dad at work, and hospice wasn't there. I'm thankful for those little moments I had to care for my mother. She often told me how sad it made her that I was taking care of her, saying "I'm the mama, I'm supposed to take care of you." Anyway, there was one incident that happened the night before she passed, where I was taking her to the bathroom and something really distressing and bad happened. It was enough of a traumatic experience that I still attend counseling to keep the PTSD from it under control.
In the past 2 or so months, I've been pretty stable as far as my grief emotions go. I've had a couple times where I just stop and realize how much I wish I could call my mama on the phone and talk to her about how excited I am to have my son. Or even just to call and say "hi" and "I love you". The feelings I have in times like those can be best described as an ache.
Today I was walking through the grocery store, and out of the corner of my eye in the freezer section I saw a yellow package. I turned my head around and saw that the yellow package was a package of turkey meatballs that my mom used when she made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Which was always one of my favorite dinners. I couldn't help it, and I don't know what came over me. At first, my mouth twitched into a little half smile, then I lost it and became a ball of emotion.
It's amazing how something as simple as a bag of meatballs can trigger such a response.
After I got home, I sat down and started thinking about how I don't have my mom or my mother in law in my life. It started to get me down, so I prayed out loud saying "I wish I had a mom." I felt immediately guilty. I realized I do have so many wonderful women in my life who have been mother figures for me. And I am so incredibly blessed now to have a stepmom who is willing to and does help me with so many things. She's even throwing me a baby shower. She's a wonderful woman who does so much for my dad and my family and has brought a ton of happiness into our lives. I am really so grateful for her in my life.