Last day

 Today we made the decision to get induced tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM. I got a stretch and sweep today again to see if my body will go into labor on its own. This time it was more effective and gave me stronger contractions, so who knows. Maybe I will go into labor before 6:30 tomorrow morning. My husband and midwife are being very supportive. My midwife suggested we do another membrane sweep today so that if nothing else, it helps move things along tomorrow and we don't have to have the pitocin on for very long. We're going to try putting in a little pitocin just to give my body a little push. I'll walk around the hospital, maybe take a bath, and then they'll check again. If nothing's really happening they'll put the pitocin on again for another push and turn it off and repeat the process. This way I may be able to have the full water birth experience. If not, she's encouraging me and letting me know that I can take baths in the really nice tub with jets and stuff. I just won't be able to birth in that one.
  I'm so grateful for my midwife. She gives it to me straight while still being gentle and sweet. I asked her what she recommended for induction, she was honest and when I made my decision she and my husband were supportive. She told me she still wants me to have the no medication experience as much as possible, so she is not going to let anyone put anything in my IV besides my antibiotics and the pitocin. She truly wants to help me get through it as naturally as possible. I was going to have to be induced by Saturday anyway, but I asked if I could be induced sooner and she worked with me to decide on tomorrow at 6:30 AM. She even told me that my body is really just not progressing how it should be. We did a non stress test to make sure the baby is okay and we didn't need to induce today, which he was so that made me happy. But I truly felt like I would rather get induced now before he does get "stressed" in the uterus. She brought up the same thing.
  So I'm sitting here in our living room just thinking about how our lives are going to change tremendously tomorrow. Depending on the effectiveness of the pitocin of course. Our baby could be born tomorrow. Our first baby. Corry's going to be a dad, and I'm going to be a mom. It's mind blowing to think about. And as I just got the bassinet ready and some other things ready for when we bring little bear home, I still can't believe that there really is a human inside me, and I can't believe that human is going to be born soon. I can't believe that human will be our child.
  I have known for most of my life that I eventually wanted to be a mom. Now that it's happening it seems surreal. Almost like any minute someone is going to say "just kidding" or a doctor will say "we made a mistake that's not a baby." Or something like that. I felt kind of the same the day I got married. I was filling up the gas tank in my car on the way to the temple where my husband and I got married, and I was of course excited, but it felt like it wasn't real. Like it was just pretend or like someone was going to tell me that it wasn't actually going to happen. Of course I'm glad it did. I have a wonderful, happy and loving marriage with the guy of my dreams. And I'm sure that when the baby is born I will feel the same way. I remember it not really kicking in that I was getting married until about 15 minutes before the temple sealing when my maid of honor helped me get my dress on. I looked around in the bride's dressing room in the temple and looked in the mirror at myself, and felt that pang of realization that it's actually happening. I have been having major contractions all day, I've seen the ultrasounds, seen the plus sign on the pee stick, we've set up all the baby things, I've felt kicks since around week 14, so many things that I think should have given me that pang of realization. I almost felt it earlier today when we decided to induce tomorrow morning. I felt the giddy excitement similar to what I felt when I found out I was pregnant or when Corry proposed to me. But it still hasn't really stuck. I wonder what will be the thing that makes me realize I'm really having a baby tomorrow.
  Earlier today my sweet husband took me out to Burgerville (for anyone who doesn't live in the Northwest/ America - it's an amazing fast food place.) We had burgers and fries and enjoyed each other's company, reminiscing about previous Burgerville dates and trying to wrap our minds around the fact that we're having a baby tomorrow. It was wonderful :)
  So, this is probably going to be my last post for this pregnancy. It's been a roller coaster. Really, it has. Hyperemesis, placenta previa, infections, moving twice, holidays, baby showers, and growing closer to my husband. It was hard, one of the hardest things I've ever done. But it has been so worth it. My husband and I have truly come together and become closer than we've ever been. Every day it feels like we become closer. In these 9 months, we've become a team and really developed as a companionship. I am so grateful for that blessing. It's been fun to make this blog too, it's been like my journal for the pregnancy. After the baby is born I will keep blogging when I can. At least once a week probably. I am thinking about changing the title of the blog too. But it will still be here. Thanks for reading my posts and encouraging me throughout this 41 week adventure. It's been an incredible experience.