Today I picked up my little guy from his dad's house and we went to the grocery store to pick up some milk as well as a few other things. I felt joy the entire time. Just being with my boy and seeing his sweet little smile made me so happy... even with the two short tantrums.
After grocery shopping we came home, parked the car, and started walking toward our little townhouse. I stopped when I saw a little butterfly on the sidewalk. I pointed it out to Broc and he squealed with joy. He then pointed to it and shouted "BA!!!" I explained to him that it was a butterfly. I asked if he thought it was pretty and again he smiled and shouted "BA!!!" It was a sweet little moment I enjoyed with all my heart.
We walked on to the courtyard outside our house and played on a tricycle that the neighborhood kids share. Broc was so proud when I put him on the little seat and he could reach the pedals! He still hasn't quite figured out how to push them to go forward, but it was a happy milestone nonetheless. He waved to me and smiled, and still happy about his butterfly experience shrieked "BA!!!"
When we got home, he was a little cranky and tired so we had a small snack and sat down on the floor in our dining room/ laundry area. In this room I have a piano keyboard. He decided he wanted to play a song for me, so he climbed up onto the swivel chair like a little bear cub and began to bang on the keys joyfully. I smiled as I watched him because it made me so happy that he was so happy to play it. He turned on one of the drum beats and started bouncing his head in perfect time with the rhythm which made me one proud mama. :)
After our fabulous little concert, little bear began to rub his eyes. I grabbed a towel and took him upstairs for a bath and pjs. I got his little bed all ready for him and he stood behind me as I did holding his little pink sippy cup with one hand and sucking his thumb with the other. When I turned around he looked up at me with his big ole precious eyes. I picked him up, hugged and kissed him and put him down to bed. As I left his room with a laundry basket balancing on my hip I blew him a kiss and said "goodnight". Then he waved at me as I turned his light off and closed the door.
Now the day really started off rough. I was in the ER for 4 hours in pain from endometriosis and PCOS. Then I napped for an hour and showered before heading off to work. After work I came home and did homework. I didn't get much time to accomplish my goals or sleep. And chances are, I probably still won't get to sleep for at least another hour. But it's the sweet memories I made with my baby boy today that keep me going through these insane schedules.
When I was in High School I competed in a poetry recitation twice. Both times I recited Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening". I didn't know why I chose it the second time, but I am so glad I did. Memorizing this poem has helped me greatly in my adult life. The lines are so profound to those who are on a journey (in truth all of us are). As I reflect on my day today and how much more there is to do before I finally get to close my eyes and experience the bliss of sleep, Robert Frost's words ring clear in my mind:
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
This poem makes me think of the promises I made to myself and to God to take care of my sweet boy and myself. I know that the best way to do that is to work hard and make sacrifices. I will have opportunities to rest or take time to play, but I need to work hard and keep pursuing my goals so that I have those wonderful opportunities.
Today was hard. Tomorrow might also be hard. Especially because there's banana crusted into my carpets and one of my nice towels is covered in toddler poop...
But I know I can keep going and I will work hard to keep prioritizing correctly. I am so grateful for the sweet memories made today. I look forward with joy to the ones we will make tomorrow.
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